When she first got sick there was a very popular book about heaven. While she languished in the hospital I stayed up all night on espresso, taping the word heaven over with the word Las Vegas, every time it appeared in the book. Sometimes when I’m alone I get a warm feeling inside me and I know my mother’s in Las Vegas thinking of me.
Lila was looking at me with some gorgeous indecisive loveliness, like she couldn’t decide if I was cool because I could talk to this guy, like we were two cool guys standing near her, or if I’d just dragged him down and we were two lame guys who weren’t Keith and that was all we had to offer.

thesnicketfile:

We Are Pirates, by Daniel Handler

A long-awaited, upcoming novel following the story of a couple of high school girls who steal a ship and attack other boats in San Francisco bay.

Out February 3, 2015

To read an exclusive, short interview with Handler, head over to Entertainment Weekly.

moonyrocketship:

Q: Describe your week in the wilderness. It doesn’t have to be ideal.

Daniel Handler: A hotel with very weak coffee and room service that stops at 10 PM. And the next night, you discover with a shudder that they haven’t restocked the minibar and SO YOU END UP DRINKING RUM.

bohemian-rhapsody12:

Super Suicide Idol en We Heart It.

bohemian-rhapsody12:

Super Suicide Idol en We Heart It.

Boys weren’t mean because they liked you; it was because they were mean.
aseaofquotes:

Daniel Handler, Adverbs

aseaofquotes:

Daniel Handler, Adverbs

I finished reading this book in the Frankfurt airport, and I was crying very hard in the lounge. I was by myself, and I was traveling home from somewhere. As I was crying, I made a deal with myself that it was okay to cry a little bit in the Frankfurt airport, but I couldn’t cry so much that someone was going to ask me if they could help. That was the boundary I set for myself. I said to myself, “You can cry a little bit, because you clearly cannot stop yourself, but you must stop yourself from crying so hard that somebody in fractured English is going to say [Puts on German accent.], ‘Can vee help you?’” And that struck me as the opposite of Valentine’s Day.
I was sitting here looking through Adverbs waiting for Lemony Snicket to arrive in another hour and SUDDENLY HE APPEARS NOT 3 FEET AWAY

I was sitting here looking through Adverbs waiting for Lemony Snicket to arrive in another hour and SUDDENLY HE APPEARS NOT 3 FEET AWAY

“Help me,” Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away.
That’ll take place tomorrow, unless the volcano erupts.” This was a San Francisco joke due to some rumors of a volcano lurking underneath the city. They had just discovered it, a volcano that had gone unnoticed but was now given official membership in the geological phenomenon known as the Ring of Fire. It was one of those news stories that made everyone giggle but might also be true. It was like love in that way: Look at this! What’s going to happen here?
neil-gaiman:

notches:

3 of my favourite people.

I love Lemony Snicket. I love my wife. I love them in very different ways.
No, that wasn’t what I meant at all.

neil-gaiman:

notches:

3 of my favourite people.

I love Lemony Snicket. I love my wife. I love them in very different ways.

No, that wasn’t what I meant at all.